When I was in middle school and I had a crush on a guy, I’d go to his MySpace, go to the music section of his about me, download an album from each of his favorite artists, listen to them a few times, then casually bringing into the conversation that I love his favorite band, name a few songs, act totally surprised that he also likes them, and BAM profit.
"I need mysterious face. Can you show mysterious? I need more mysterious."
#piercing #handpiercing #fingerpiercing #tattoo #ring #jewelry #fish #blue #implant #microdermal #bague #myself
adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to
Me for all of high school
Still me in college.
Me whilst on a run
Me at work
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
my little sister sleeps with a box of cheez-its next to her pillow and i always thought it was because she’s lazy and likes to have it for convenient snacking but last night she told me it’s because she likes seeing it first thing when she wakes up to remind her there’s good in the world
My grandma would always x out people in her yearbook and write “Deceased” when one of her high school classmates died. We often found it morbid. Grandma wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.
That’s not a yearbook.
That’s a hit list.